Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
