I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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