am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
