So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You can't special order awesome
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
