Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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