I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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