I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
