I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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