so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Randomize
