Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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