i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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