Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
there's paper in my vomit.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
