if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
