WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
