Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I faked an abortion last night.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
