well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
