She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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