I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
