I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
