The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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