For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
