just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
