it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
