Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
