so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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