You really coming over, don't trick.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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