I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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