just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize