Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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