i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
