Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
