Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
