it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
honey bunches of taint.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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