i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Randomize
