I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
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i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
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If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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