do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
