It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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