I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
