I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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