the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
