All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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