I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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