I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
