Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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