like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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