she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
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