I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
