I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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