I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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