Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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