I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize