i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I have fence marks all over my body
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
