I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
