If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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