I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
