I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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