White coat. Heels.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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