There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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