why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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