I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
