what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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