didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
