i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
