sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
